Hold on to Your Comedy Dream

It’s an interesting combination- piano teacher by day; clean comedian by night. To tell you the truth, I went for years denying my comic abilities, never telling the other grade school moms about the person I really was. None of them knew I’d spent most of my life, six days a week and sometimes threes shows a night, in smoky comedy clubs trying to make people laugh.  I have performed stand-up comedy at all the popular comedy clubs:  Zanies Comedy Club, The Funnybone, The Comic Strip and The Comedy Store.

I didn’t want to admit my comedy connection because I felt too many negative connotations come to mind in the words "club standup comedian" - drinking, drugs, lewd material and perhaps irresponsible mother. Living my teenage years at an all-girl’s Catholic boarding school, I’d been engrained with a lifestyle that was not a match. And so I kept my past and dreams a secret.

I took off many years from standup comedy when my children were small. After my third child was born, I missed them all so much when I would go out to do a show at night. I continually thought, "Why am I here? I want to go home." Eventually the desire to be with my children at night combined with a healthy dose of exhaustion convinced me that I could leave standup and lead a "normal" life. In retrospect, the lesson learned is - never turn your back on your dream - it will catch up with you, if you’re lucky.

What happened in those years that I stayed away from the stage? I wrote and wrote and wrote.

(Eventually that writing would become my first show entitled, "BIG PEOPLE, little people!") It was easy to write. I found my children endlessly amusing - let’s change that to downright hilarious. I thought to myself, "What if adults acted like children?’ "How long would it take for an adult who acted like a child to be committed?" Maybe less than a minute?

My son wore his Power Ranger costume to the grocery store. If I did that nobody would think I was cute. They’d commit me. They’d call the authorities. They’d call 911. They’d say, "Bag Lady in Aisle 6!"

What if I started screaming in church and tried to run up the aisle? Nobody would say, "She’s kind of cranky today." No! They’d hustle me out and everyone would be very "disturbed".

What if I ate a spaghetti dinner and left the sauce all over my mouth and ran it through my hair?

How do kids get away with this stuff!?

And it made me laugh. And I wrote it down. And I’m still writing it down today.

The other day I was teaching a six-year-old girl a beginning piano lesson. In all her innocence, she started her own interesting conversation with me. "Mrs. Edwards. don’t you hate it when you’re on the monkey bars and you forget you have a skirt on, and your underpants show?" And I said quite matter-of-factly, "Yes. I do hate that. I hate that so much and I know just how you feel!"

Three Secrets to Becoming a Clean Stand-up Comedian

Secrets to Becoming a Clean Stand-up Comedian

Many new comedians grace the stage with full intent of delivering a clean show. They take the showcase stage at comedy clubs like Zanies Comedy Club, The Laugh Factory, Up Comedy Club or The Improv and attempt to deliver clean comedy. By performing clean comedy, whether they be funny female comedians or male clean comedians they are then able to pursue the goal of someday performing solo as a clean corporate comedian.

1)  Performing clean comedy means there should be no use of swear words, no offensive set-ups and no offensive punchlines.  It is important not to embarrass or offend as a corporate comedian.  An offended audience leads to complaints to human resources. Repetitive complaints may develop into real problems for the company hosting the corporate event.  Violating the rules of "clean" will result in loss of trust, reputation and bookings.

2)  Be aware of your own interpretation of clean comedy.  "Clean" should not be a product of your own subjective interpretation. New talent today takes its direction from Comedy Central where there are no limits on topics and vocabulary. A new comic often believes if he simply "cleans up his act" by cleaning up his four letter words, the goal of clean comedy has been accomplished. I've seen club owners shaking their heads in dismay as they watch a new talent use every word but the "f" bomb and think they've achieved clean.

Subject matter that is truly "clean" is a topic that you could deliver one-on-one to your Aunt Clara in front of her bridge club. This is assuming your aunt was never a member of Hell's Angels or senior cook on a ship. Topics involving family, sports, children, husbands, wives and corporate life are all fair game. Any talk of sex must be approached with extreme caution. After all, would you feel comfortable talking about sex to your Aunt Clara?

3)  "Customized humor" is a good way to go if you want strong laughs that hit close to home for a corporate audience. Customizing humor involves researching the company's background and core interests prior to taking the stage. Although individuals can also be singled out as fodder, it is very effective to read from the company's handbook or muse over their graphs and charts. Where there has been pain, there is gain in the laugh department.

If you want to write clean, turn off the TV and think back to your childhood. What was right and what was wrong in dialogue with adults? These thoughts will be your guide. Writing clean material is a very difficult challenge when creating a new routine but taking the high road will lead to respect among your peers and admiration from you corporate audience.

At This Clean Comedy Event, I Sat Next to a Bishop! That is Clean Comedy Pressure!